Past my bedtime
It's 9:30 and it is way past my bedtime. I slept almost 10 hours last night and it does not seem to be enough! I work early tomorrow and have a long day, but I am not quite ready for bed yet. I need to breath for a minute. I made a small batch of chocolate chip cookies (gluten free, y'all) and have a cup of tea steeping for an evening comfort after a day of activity, planning, unexpected craziness and adventure. I am grateful for a day off in which I can do necessary errands and also a quick trip to the river or some other outdoor majesty.
I need nature and real beauty so much more than I currently get it. I recently (very recently, as in 15 minutes ago) listened to a podcast from the show Nerdist on which Ethan Hawke was the guest. He talked heavily with the host, Chris Hardwick, about life and enjoying being young and fool hardy and to NEVER be too hard on yourself as a youngster. This struck a heavy chord with me, since I am so incredibly harsh on myself and my abilities. I think it is something in our social climate currently. Some need to ridicule ourselves for fear we turn into a jerk or that blonde girl who thinks too much of herself.
There are so many of us out there posturing and hiding what's real, that those of us who can't posture constantly feel impossibly and incurably negative about ourselves. My body will never be good enough, even with this body acceptance movement going on, because there are still thousands of perfect girls out there, and yet.... are there? Perfect, really? No, I guess not. Tut Tut.
Hawke also goes on to talk about his insatiable need to work, BOY HOWDY do I know that feeling! He relates it to love! HA! How crazy is that? And I found myself understanding it totally. We love to work, we love to make people happy. We love to be active and not walk through life apathetically. It was so wonderfully clarifying for me as I struggle to move and pack boxes during a 40 hour workweek. It is this need to constantly be in action and constantly improve myself and life that drives me to this nonstop pace. Obviously, as I sit here procrastinating my bedtime, I also find time to do things I enjoy and I hope that the things I enjoy (writing, adventures at parks, cooking) can please those around me whom I involve in these various excursions of spirit.
ANYWAY, I should really sleep or I will be grumpy tomorrow and NO one wants a grumpy Rose.
SLAINTE
I need nature and real beauty so much more than I currently get it. I recently (very recently, as in 15 minutes ago) listened to a podcast from the show Nerdist on which Ethan Hawke was the guest. He talked heavily with the host, Chris Hardwick, about life and enjoying being young and fool hardy and to NEVER be too hard on yourself as a youngster. This struck a heavy chord with me, since I am so incredibly harsh on myself and my abilities. I think it is something in our social climate currently. Some need to ridicule ourselves for fear we turn into a jerk or that blonde girl who thinks too much of herself.
There are so many of us out there posturing and hiding what's real, that those of us who can't posture constantly feel impossibly and incurably negative about ourselves. My body will never be good enough, even with this body acceptance movement going on, because there are still thousands of perfect girls out there, and yet.... are there? Perfect, really? No, I guess not. Tut Tut.
Hawke also goes on to talk about his insatiable need to work, BOY HOWDY do I know that feeling! He relates it to love! HA! How crazy is that? And I found myself understanding it totally. We love to work, we love to make people happy. We love to be active and not walk through life apathetically. It was so wonderfully clarifying for me as I struggle to move and pack boxes during a 40 hour workweek. It is this need to constantly be in action and constantly improve myself and life that drives me to this nonstop pace. Obviously, as I sit here procrastinating my bedtime, I also find time to do things I enjoy and I hope that the things I enjoy (writing, adventures at parks, cooking) can please those around me whom I involve in these various excursions of spirit.
ANYWAY, I should really sleep or I will be grumpy tomorrow and NO one wants a grumpy Rose.
SLAINTE
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