Beauty is as beauty does...
There was a day...many moons ago where I thought of all the ways I would like to change myself. My hair to be darker, my skin to be cleaner, my waist trimmer, and a billion other silly things. I became too busy for these thoughts and just concerned myself with eating well and being content with my body as is... It has been moderately successful in the last few years of my life, but when I happen upon a photo from just 5 years ago, I look down at my woman's hips and shape, my now un-tannable skin and dyed hair and I cringe. How did I change so much? When did it take place that my bloom faded?
When I started supporting myself fully? When I no longer had time to garden and ride and work for fun in the heat of the afternoon amongst the berry bushes and vines? When did the need to be a "grown-up" out weigh my need to breathe and be clean? I am so appalled. So saddened and shocked. I swore I would never grow up...it's too late. My heart has a fine callous and my emotions are jaded. I have permanent dark circles under my eyes and my days off are used catching up on the 800 errands and house chores I need to do since I have no energy to do anything else after work or before work.
I have spent two and a half years working non-stop with little to no reward for my efforts. My little cabin which I love so dearly is often empty of my presence because I am working so hard to keep it. My handsome horse, in need of a groom, some foot trimming and much riding, sits in the field, collecting hay-dust while I work and work at the register across town. My sweet-faced Addie waits for me at home, thinking I am always gone for good. I cannot abide this life anymore. I love the woods and the respite I have found, but if I am unable to spend my hours enjoying it or letting sun soak into my skin, I am a fool. I have become sour and bitter before my time. I have been pushed to the limit over and over and over by people that I love and by people who don't even know me at all.
It's time for a renaissance. It's time to take my what is mine. My trim, healthy figure, my warm skin and sun-bleached hair. The dirt under my fingers and the veggies in my happy belly. I must live again for the beauty so that I may feel beautiful and so that I can make beauty for others. Folks, it's time for this little lady to make some big changes in the face of health. beauty and contentment.
When I started supporting myself fully? When I no longer had time to garden and ride and work for fun in the heat of the afternoon amongst the berry bushes and vines? When did the need to be a "grown-up" out weigh my need to breathe and be clean? I am so appalled. So saddened and shocked. I swore I would never grow up...it's too late. My heart has a fine callous and my emotions are jaded. I have permanent dark circles under my eyes and my days off are used catching up on the 800 errands and house chores I need to do since I have no energy to do anything else after work or before work.
I have spent two and a half years working non-stop with little to no reward for my efforts. My little cabin which I love so dearly is often empty of my presence because I am working so hard to keep it. My handsome horse, in need of a groom, some foot trimming and much riding, sits in the field, collecting hay-dust while I work and work at the register across town. My sweet-faced Addie waits for me at home, thinking I am always gone for good. I cannot abide this life anymore. I love the woods and the respite I have found, but if I am unable to spend my hours enjoying it or letting sun soak into my skin, I am a fool. I have become sour and bitter before my time. I have been pushed to the limit over and over and over by people that I love and by people who don't even know me at all.
It's time for a renaissance. It's time to take my what is mine. My trim, healthy figure, my warm skin and sun-bleached hair. The dirt under my fingers and the veggies in my happy belly. I must live again for the beauty so that I may feel beautiful and so that I can make beauty for others. Folks, it's time for this little lady to make some big changes in the face of health. beauty and contentment.
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