Candlemas in my blood

This morning, not long after waking, I took down my highly treasured wreath and swag and hung them deep in the woods behind my cabin. I could not bear to throw them away or burn them. They mean far too much to me. My swag was made for me early in the Christmas season by my beau and the wreath I made late in the Christmas season with his expertise. So, you see, they were precious. And still so healthy. BUT, something in my bones and blood told me to take them down, to move beyond the season. I had utterly forgotten that Candlemas began yesterday and yet here I was, doing the very things we do in Candlemas.

I was cleaning my house, staying quiet, observing and purifying, dreaming lovingly of spring and turning over new earth, both literally and figuratively. There is such a rich fullness that goes along with planting and herbs and the green shoots that pop their heads through the dead leaves. I noticed, as I walked into the woods, that daffodils were already trying to push their way into sight.

This evening, after spreading a new, spring colored quilt over my bed and tidying little nesty things here and there, I lit the four candles I had in my house before the moon, prayed and simply sat.

I thought of the year, of the Christmas season, of the person I am and the person I was. I thought of the way the wind stirred not only the branches, but my spirit. I was full of something beyond my ability to describe to you. Something deep in my blood, not content to lay dormant much longer. Then, I danced. I danced with the emotion I didn't know how to translate any other way. I have been dancing my whole life. Dancing away frustration, dancing joyfully and also dancing for lack of any other way to twist my body into expression.

I am here, in a world with so many ways to think and believe and I have found myself piecing together my own beliefs every step of the way. I will wear my crown and love the moon and her gracious light. She is my friend and my familiar. I will worship the God who made the moon and the ancient earth. I will love the tiny saplings and the sweet-eyed deer that eat their bark and leaves for sustenance. My feet will flitter this way and that to keep from exploding with emotion that takes over my being.

I hope someone will understand these feelings I have. I hope some of you can relate. I am forever grateful for the feeling of feeling. The pain I feel is worth the wonder I also experience. Wonderment is an exquisite bliss.
I am a little earth-maiden, looking for more fields and hearths on which to dance barefoot.